For some reason, it had been stuck in my head that we started the blog in September. I’m not sure why I thought that. Probably because September is our anniversary month, and it would have made sense to align the blog anniversary with that. But I didn’t. Which means our one-year blogiversary snuck up on both of us. And then rather unceremoniously passed. That cannot stand! We must recap, review, and analyze our progress. So here we go, a look back at a year on the fringe: What’s changed in our lives over the past 12 months?
A Year of Blogging
We’ve written 45 blog posts. I was doing a decent job of posting one a week for a while, but the past couple months have been rough. This whole “real job” thing is a bummer.
And now, analytics. I used to do the analytics reporting for a website I worked on years ago. Man it’s been a long time since I’ve dug into site data. Let’s see what we find.
Our highest single day of traffic was last year on October 2. I can guess what caused that. But let me check. Ah yes, that would be the day after Swinging Downunder tweeted about my blog post The Ambiguity of Male Sexiness. Man, I still remember that night. It wasn’t long after that retweet I was having all kinds of back-and-forths with people on Twitter. We were instantly propelled from obscurity to near-obscurity with a single tweet!
Interestingly, three of our top five blog posts deal with hotwife/stag and vixen content:
I guess I need to write more about that. If only this stupid COVID-19 pandemic wasn’t going on and we could safely engage in that sort of play! Erin, find a sexy mask and matching lingerie (that must be a thing, right?), you need to go out and fuck some guys.
The Ambiguity of Male Sexiness remains within the Top 3, and coming in number 5: I Want to Drug My Wife. I guess there is an interest in chem dom stuff, too.
Erin, I’ll be making all your drinks from now on. Don’t ask what’s in them, why they taste weird, or how come you can never remember how you got in bed.
Fringe-Related Personal Achievements
We have a few highlights related to our work on the blog that we’re excited about. I’m sure some of these don’t matter as much to Erin as they do to me (like this first one), but I have skewed priorities.
Running Gags, Jokes, and Movie/Nerd References
There are several running gags throughout the blog. You probably wouldn’t even notice them unless you read several posts back to back, and given how verbose I tend to be, that could take days. As I was reviewing some older posts while writing this, I surprised myself at how far back some of my repeated “catch phrases” appear.
I make these jokes and references for my own entertainment. I hope other people find my writing to be amusing (I often say to Erin, “It’s a good thing you find me funny, or else I would be really annoying”), and I hope that some people might catch on to the occasional running gag.
Creating a Common Vocabulary
When it comes to words, I have opinions. Oh so many opinions!
Just this past week Erin and I had a massive misunderstanding about limits in our swingeriness because we were using the word swap differently. I’m not going into the confusion here and now, but I’m sure all the swingers out there will understand that a word like swap comes up a fair bit when discussing lifestyle rules.
We want to make sure there is a common definition everyone is working from, hence our glossary for the site so you can understand what we mean when we use a word or phrase.
I started off clarifying the differences among chatting up, flirting, hitting on, and seduction. How useful!
We then coined the phrase VFB (Vigorous Finger Banging). Also a useful term to have on hand (HA!). Pro tip: Don’t do this to Erin. She’s likely to kick you.
I defined the concepts of implied consent and preconsent and how these ideas apply to Erin and I after 15 years of marriage.
I can’t be the first person to use the term chem dom to describe using substances as part of Dom/sub play, but I really haven’t found other references to it. (Everyone else just calls it date rape, I guess, but really, there’s consent here!)
Cuckolding, hotwifing, bulls, and stag & vixen play were the focus, but I also went into inherent sexism in terms like shared wife and wife swapping.
We unpacked the term drug free, which often appears in swinger profiles, and developed a spectrum for rating substance-use comfort.
And lastly, I defined swinger and lifestyle.
And possibly coined anal pickling. You’re welcome.
We Have Fans!
And we’ve met some of them! It’s rather surreal to think that someone’s read one of my posts and thought, “Yeah, sure, I’ll read another.” But people do!
So far, we’ve only met two couples in person who have contacted us through the site. This blog isn’t a funnel for our lifestyle activity, not like the We Gotta Thing podcast is for Mr. and Mrs. Jones. I believe Mr. Jones has said their podcast is practically cheating because it makes lifestyle hookups so easy to find.
We have had several people contact us through the site, which has been pretty cool. I’ve also had some great DM exchanges on Twitter with fans and other content creators.
We Met Richard and Lauren!
Richard and Lauren of Room 77 fame happened to be in the Philadelphia area and were planning on visiting The Pleasure Garden Club, one of the local lifestyle clubs. We had written a review of the club for their site, so they reached out to let us know they would be there on our home turf.
We made sure we were there that night.
Wow, did we never write about this story on the blog? I just searched around for it, and it seems not!
You can hear about it on their podcast, episode 29: Molly and the Hoo Hoo Train. I find it amusing that the Molly reference in that title has nothing to do with us. Still, how appropriate that this is the episode in which we’re mentioned!
We Met Cate and Darrell!
Highlight of our year: We were interviewed by Cate and Darrell on the Swinging Downunder podcast. I can’t tell you how validating that is as a content creator, to have established and successful creators like them think that what we’re doing on this blog was interesting and valuable to the community. Wow!
They were just as amazing to chat with as they seemed from listening to their podcast. We never doubted that, given how genuine they come across in their show (or videos). It was a hell of a lot of fun for us. We never imagined our little Fringe blog would get that kind of attention.
Well…I did, but as has been described a few times, I have a wild imagination that will often roam free beyond the bounds of realistic probability. But apparently sometimes dreams can come true!
I Self-Published a Book
I got the idea for Winter Friends in December during an acid trip, and by February, I had finished the first draft. By May, I published it. And I haven’t had time to write any more stories with those characters. Soon, I hope.
Whoah, I have two 5-star reviews on Amazon! And no 1-star reviews! Sweet!
In Our Swinger Lives
Alas, with the pandemic raging, we’ve haven’t accumulated many new lifestyle stories. Though we do have some on the way. This past weekend, we attended the virtual Podcast-A-Palooza event, and we both had a great time. We’ll have a wrap-post about that.
A couple months ago, we hosted our swinger friends Han and Leia (again, they picked those names, not me!) for their first Molly night. I offered to let them write about the experience so that we could share a first-time account on the blog. I think that will be a great addition when they finish it.
One of our local lifestyle clubs hosts pool parties over summer, and we finally made it out to a couple of those.
In Our Substance-Use Lives
Since starting the blog last August, we’ve had several new and wild experiences. We had a mind-expanding candy flip that has colored my perception of reality, consciousness, and divinity. I had an amazing, self-affirming hippie flip. We had sex on LSD (though not on the first try; I haven’t told the success story yet), and I had a very…let’s say difficult…Buddha flip, which I haven’t yet described.
We tried a few new substances in the past year as well: ketamine, whippits (aka Nitrous Oxide), and GBL (which is so similar to GHB I’m not sure it’s worth making the distinction).
Han and Leia’s MDMA experience wasn’t the only time in the past year I got to practice being a good Sherpa. We introduced a couple we’ve been (vanilla) friends with since college to LSD (their first ever psychedelic experience). Just a couple weeks ago, I trip-sat for a friend on his first LSD experience (he had done shrooms a few times previously).
Everything went well in all cases, I’m happy to say!
We recently upgraded our cannabis game with the purchase of a desktop vaporizer, the Arizer Extreme Q. I’ll be writing my review for that shortly.
In Our Personal Lives
We had a lot more going on in our lives this past year than just sex and drugs, of course. We completed an addition to our house, which includes a backdoor, pantry, and powder room, and I made a few improvements to the backyard and out home lighting decor (LED smart light bulbs in most rooms of the house).
I got certified to be a personal trainer in March (just before COVID shut everything down). I haven’t yet switched careers, but I needed to hold something for the second blogiversary post.
I started practicing HEMA (historic European martial arts; AKA sword fighting). I’m not very good, but I’m learning. I set up an axe-throwing target and bought WATL-regulation axes. I’ll be ready for the Renn Fair when COVID is no longer an issue.
I built some BDSM furniture.
I started making sourdough bread. That’s not really a big deal or anything, but it’s on my mind because I happen to be making one as I write this, and I have to keep popping down to the kitchen to fold the dough during the bulk ferment.
We also lost a friend this year to a drug overdose. Her death highlights a couple of major topics we discuss on the blog, the failure of our society in how it treats drugs and addiction and the damage that can occur when we feel guilt or shame because of our sexual desires and history.
What’s Next?
I previewed a couple more stories yet to come. We hope that Year 2 will see the end of the COVID Lockdown and a return to normal. We should have our first guest post in the next month or so. If the stars align, maybe we’ll be able to share a story about our first hotel takeover (which would have been in October, had COVID not ruined it!) and/or our first lifestyle resort vacation.
I’ll have more chapters in the Winter Friends series. I have an idea brewing for a erotic/romance novel which I would try to publish under this name and tie in to the blog. I have a few novels I’m trying to get published under my real name. And I want to slide into a new career centering fitness and personal training.
We both turned 40 in March just as COVID shut everything down. Erin insists we’re still 39, and we get to have a do-over. I don’t think that’s how aging works, but I refuse to argue with her. No clue what that event will look like, but we’ll keep you posted.
Lots of exciting times still ahead! We hope you’ll stick around for it.