I’ve had the pleasure of introducing a few friends to the substances that Erin and I feel have improved our lives and relationship. It’s an honor to be asked because it shows a level of comfort and trust in my abilities. As such, I take being a guide very seriously. I like to think at this point I’ve learned how to be a good sherpa.
With the recent blog post about drugs in the lifestyle and our interview with Swinging Downunder there might be additional interest in this topic. And above all, I want to make sure to teach principles of harm reduction. If handled responsibly, most of these substances are no more dangerous than alcohol. Many of them, less so.
My goal is to educate experienced substance users on how they can provide safe and comfortable experiences for friends or loved ones. Erin and I have had a few other couples take an interest in certain substances after hearing our stories. We’ve never offered nor suggested anyone try something; we let them express their own interest.
A good sherpa never pressures anyone into an experience!
In fact, before we even get into these guidelines, I recommend reviewing our six commandments of substance use. All of those apply if you want to be a good sherpa.
Who These Guidelines Are For
Even though I am writing this for experienced substance users who want to share experiences with their friends (who I shall refer to as the explorer in this post), this information can be valuable to myriad audiences.
Anyone who has a passing interest in learning more about substance use even with no plan of ever sampling the experience might find this interesting.
Those who are looking for advice to explore substances on their own could also find this informative. Erin and I had experienced guides for our first marijuana and MDMA experience, but for other experiences, we ventured forward on our own. I do a lot of research on every substance before we try it.
If you have a friend who is going to be your sherpa, these guidelines might help you get a better understanding of what to expect. If their plan doesn’t align to these guidelines, talk to them as to why. I’m not saying what I’m outlining here is the Right Way. There are many ways to ethically introduce people to substances. But make sure your sherpa has a reason for what they are suggesting. There should be a plan, a blueprint to the experience, a map to guide you. If they are being haphazard and laissez-faire about the whole thing…well, steel yourself for what could be a rocky experience.
Be a Good Sherpa and Avoid Combos
I am writing this about taking a single substance. However, the same guidelines apply to substance combos assuming that the sherpa has experience with the combo and the explorer does not.
However, note that the explorer shouldn’t start with a drug combo. What I mean is, I would be comfortable being a sherpa for an explorer experienced with MDMA and LSD who wants to candy flip for the first time.
I would not do so for someone who wasn’t already experienced with both. A candy flip is a more intense experience than either LSD or MDMA alone. Explorers should work up to that experience.
Let your explorer have the experience before changing the experience.
The Goal of the Sherpa
If you want to be a good sherpa, you need only do one thing: adopt the mindset that your single and solitary goal is to help the explorer have the best experience they can. Everything I discuss here stems from that simple idea.
You also need to realize you cannot assure everyone that they will have a good experience—everyone reacts differently to substances, and you cannot guarantee a good time.
But you can do your best.
Talk to Your Explorer Beforehand
New experiences can be scary or at least cause some anxiety, especially with the wealth of misinformation about substances that’s out there. It would not be surprising for your explorer to feel nervous about their upcoming adventure. One way to help ease them into it is discussing the experience in detail beforehand and by showing you are taking your sherpa duties seriously by collecting background information in advance.
I recommend discussing the following things:
- What drugs (prescription or otherwise) the explorer is taking, and do your research to make sure there are no harmful interactions. The Tripsit.Me chart and app are great places to start, but if your explorer gives you a list of prescriptions, Google each one.
- Find out what the explorer knows about the substance and its effects. It’s good to discuss expectations beforehand both to mitigate worry and also to reduce potential disappointment.
- Talk about what the explorer wants to get out of the experience. Is it self exploration? Or just for fun? You can discuss setting an intention.
- Considering music is such an impactful part of many drug experiences, recommend your explorer consider what music they might like.
- Discuss with your explorer your own intended level of intoxication. You might have an established preference (remaining completely sober, taking a lesser dose, or being on the same level as the explorer), but your explorer might have a preference as well, and this is about their experience not yours.
Plan Accordingly
As the sherpa, you’ve had experience with the substance your explorer will be taking. You know how it feels and what to expect. As such, the preparation falls upon you.
- When scheduling the experience, make sure there is enough time to prepare for and fully have the experience. Some substances, like MDMA, are adversely affected by food. Your explorer needs to know that and be able to not eat three hours before the experience is set to begin.
- Also make sure the explorer has time in the days following to recover from the experience. LSD trips are long and sometimes draining. MDMA can also leave people feeling glum or exhausted for days. Be considerate of the necessary aftercare.
- Consider food, water, and other supplies beforehand. MDMA shuts down hunger, but sweet drinks like a high-quality orange cream soda is AMAZING! Erin and I will get hungry on psychedelics, but food prep can be difficult. Have snacks appropriate to the substance.
- Make sure you have a variety of music available. Your explorer might come up with a whole playlist for the experience, but if they end up not liking their own music choice, you need to have backup. If you are sherpa-ing a psychedelic experience, make sure to have a selection of calming music like meditation tracks, nature sounds, or classical music.
Consider all the things that have brought you joy during the experience and try to provide it. I have what I call the Experience Bag, which include massage oil, essential oils, a diffuser, lots of small massaging gadgets, and environmental toys like light projectors.
Set and Setting
I cannot stress enough the importance of set and setting for any substance experience. Hell, most life experiences, really. There is a reason weddings are in fancy venues, people like to vacation at classy resorts, and workout music is usually loud and fast. The atmosphere creates the mood. Most substances I’ve taken drastically enhance whatever mood is created by the set and setting. Do your best to create a comfortable environment for your explorer.
One of our recent posts was a rehashing of a MDMA experience had by Her of The Monogamish Marriage blog, in which Erin and I reported the advice we’d have given Her had we been her sherpas for the experience. Our number one correction would have been starting in a different set and setting. Her had her experience at a club at a swinger resort. We do not recommend that.
One of the main reasons Erin and I don’t mix party drugs and clubs is that we cannot control the set and setting, like changing the music, the lighting, the energy of the room. If something goes wrong, we can’t leave. The best we could do is go into a playroom and close the door—which can bring its own anxiety.
At least at a resort or hotel party, there is room to retreat to privacy as Her eventually did, and her roll improved from there.
Start in a Safe Space
We always recommend a first experience be in a safe place. Most times I’ve been a sherpa, it has been at the explorer’s house. This is a place they will feel comfortable. They know the energies of the room. They have the pillows and blankets they like and can control the temperature. Things like that.
I would have no problem hosting an experience at my own house. Some friends joined Erin and I for a shroom trip at my family’s lake house—that wasn’t their first time, either, but I would be comfortable hosting there as well.
Erin and I experimented with MDMA on Bourbon Street recently, and from what I learned from that experience, I would feel comfortable taking MDMA in high-energy party situations…but only if I had a safe space someplace to retreat to if need be.
“But I Only Take Drugs to Party”
For the majority of our substance experiences, I was sherpa to both Erin and myself, which has led me to be extremely cautious. I learned what I could beforehand, but we didn’t have a voice of experience there to help us if we needed it.
I wonder if there isn’t a higher prevalence of people who were introduced to substances in party environments. Then, because they never had anything but a good time, they are likely to repeat the cycle with others.
Even if you’ve only ever had good experiences with these substances, I urge you to be cautious when you share and make sure you have done your due diligence to provide a comfortable experience for your explorer.
If your explorer is keen to attempt a party atmosphere during their first experience, I recommend setting the timeline to start in a safe space and then venture out once the explorer has become familiar with the experience. For many substances, the come-up part of the experience is different, and often more trying, than the experience itself.
And if you decide to come-up in a public venue, make sure you have a way of retreating from it quickly and safely should your explorer not enjoy that setting.
Above all things: Be safe!
Be a Good Sherpa and Practice Harm Reduction Techniques
Some of these are standard harm reduction techniques that I hope you are doing anyway. Even if you are normally lax about doing some of these, now is not the time to skip steps. Your explorer is counting on you to lead them safely through this experience.
Check Your Substances
Just as a good sherpa checks the equipment before ascending Mount Everest, so too should you check your substances before embarking on this journey with your explorer. This includes the aforementioned research into any drug incompatibilities, but it goes beyond that.
You are responsible for your explorer’s safety on this journey. Ethically, it’s your responsibility to test your substances to make sure they are safe.
But beyond just testing the substance to make sure there are no additives, you should have a test run of the substance from the same batch from which you are providing your explorer. I would never give someone a tab of LSD from a sheet without having had a tab from that sheet myself previously. Nor would I give MDMA powder I haven’t already rolled with.
Because I know what 1 tab of LSD (usually dosed at 100 micro-units) or 140mg of MDMA should feel like, I can evaluate whether the supply I am going to use is appropriately dosed.
Know How to Adjust or Terminate an Experience
In general, once an experience has started there isn’t much you can do to end it early. However, if an experience is going bad for your explorer, you need to do something to help them through it.
I practice meditation on my own, and through martial arts practice have learned valuable breathing techniques to relax the body and mind. Knowing how to guide an explorer through such techniques is valuable. Even if you don’t use such practices yourself in your normal routine, I would recommend either learning a few for when you are being a sherpa or having some saved on a device that you can pop on if the need arises.
Always start by changing set and setting before adjusting the experience with another substance. Often by asking the explorer what is wrong and what they need, you can make rational decisions on what to adjust.
If your explorer is overwhelmed and jittery, then put on calm music, lower the lights, and tell them to breathe deep. Most of the time, that will be enough.
If that isn’t enough, you might be tempted to alter the experience with another substance. But to do so, you must have a solid understanding of how substances interact (always check the chart!).
A strong indica might help an explorer who is amped up from a stimulant like MDMA, but adding marijuana to a psychedelic experience is likely to make your explorer trip harder.
I don’t advocate for adding other substances, but I understand it might be necessary. Just make sure you know what you are doing or else you might make the experience worse.
One way to avoid ever being in this situation, though, is to…
Know The Threshold Dose and Start Low
Before the experience begins, you should have an idea on how much your explorer should take. I recommend starting at the bare minimum to get the explorer into the experience. Heavier experiences can be had later if the explorer enjoyed the light experience; you can even have a plan in place beforehand to up the dose as necessary so that the explorer can have a deeper experience.
Just make sure that it’s a gradual increase. You don’t want someone going from a lovely experience to a paranoid freak-out because you doubled their dose (which then causes the problem listed above).
Most substances don’t have a linear progression. I might need 3mL of GHB before I feel it even lightly (my threshold dose); a 4mL might double how into the experience the substance takes me.
Obviously, for this to work you also need to know the appropriate threshold dose for the substance. Often this is based on body weight, but I typically ask explorers if they are generally susceptible to drugs or resistant (i.e., if they take Nyquil, does the standard dose drop them out real quick or do they go for twice the normal amount like I do) and adjust from there. Erowid is a great resource to explore for this information.
I have friends on either side of the spectrum. One can take 100mg of MDMA and have a joyous time. We nailed that one on our first go. The other needs over 160mg to even start feeling it. It took a few tries before we got her starting amount correct.
Which leads me to….
Keep a Journal
I have most of our personal experiences logged, but I also track every time we do substances with others. This allows me to look back at what explorers have done before and, because I keep notes about the length of the experience and their reaction to the substances, I can plan out the next experience based on empirical evidence.
I also find that my explorers don’t tend to remember how much they took during previous experiences. It’s up to me to look back and see the values.
I like to interview my explorers during and after the experience to see how they felt and what they liked or didn’t like. If a dose caused a very anxious, jittery come-up, then maybe next time the starter dose should be lighter and a second dose added shortly after the come-up is over.
This also lets me know how long people stay in an experience. I usually drop from mine earlier than most people and also very quickly. I go from intoxicated to near sober across a couple minutes from most substances, even alcohol. I’ve been like that since college.
Follow Up
I check in with my explorers in the days that follow the experience to make sure they are following any aftercare advice and to see how they regard the experience after they have had time to reflect on it.
Many substances can leave a pleasant after glow that lasts for a day or two. Many psychonauts report insights and inspirations days after a psychedelic experience. Sometimes thoughts take time to percolate.
It’s also good to know if your explorer had a negative reaction, a kind of hangover, from the experience. This information might inform future aftercare advice and preparation. Jot it all down in your journal.
The goal of being a good sherpa is to make sure your explorer looks back upon the experience positively. That will include how they feel in the days and weeks after it.
The Catch-All
By following the above guidelines, you can provide the safest and most positive experience possible for your friends and loved ones who are interested in exploring substances alongside you.
I figured it was worth creating a TL;DR/quick-reference list here:
- Never pressures anyone into an experience
- Avoid combos
- Get the necessary background info (drug history and expectations)
- Plan ahead (timing, food/drink, aftercare)
- Check your substances (with test kits and by doing a practice run yourself)
- Understand how to prepare and adjust set and setting
- Start in a safe place
- Start low; increase gradually if appropriate
- Follow up after the experience
- Keep a journal
That list is in the order you need to do these things leading up to and through the experience rather than the order in which I addressed them in the blog.