The idea for this came to me while I was writing my post about addiction. That one went on long enough. It didn’t need a section about the expression of using something “as a crutch.” I hope I can still make the appropriate connection. Just as enjoying an intoxicated state does not mean someone has an addiction to a substance, neither does using a substance as a crutch imply there is an addiction.
In case this is a regional expression, I’ll give a little detail.
First off, a crutch is a stick that goes under the armpit that people use to help themselves walk usually across the span of a foot or leg injury when the damaged limb cannot support the body’s weight.
Second, the expression boils down to comparing a non-movement-assisting something to a crutch to the degree that the something is preventing the person from getting better or that without the assistance of the something, the person couldn’t achieve a thing in the first place:
“He used alcohol as a crutch to get himself through the pandemic quarantine lock down.”
I often see this expression used as a negative. Though, I would argue that there is nothing wrong with using alcohol (or any other substance) to bolster one’s emotional fortitude to get through troubling times. So long as the use did not become problematic.
That statement does not imply problematic drinking, and the reader should not infer it.
I decided this expression being negative is rather stupid. More often than not, crutches are useful if not necessary!
Just because I usually hear this expression used negatively, that doesn’t mean it is only used negatively. Maybe you have a different experience. Awesome!
But let’s not use it negatively at all.
Let’s Consider the Word Crutch
A crutch is a simple tool used to help people with movement impairments navigate “normal” spaces with greater ease. While the word crutch brings to mind an exact implement, there are various things that serve a similar function and give more or less support.
A crutch, cane, leg brace, wheelchair, and prosthetic limb all help people who have some kind of walking difference traverse areas that were designed around and for normal dual-footed walking.
At its core, using a crutch isn’t a negative.
“I stubbed my toe on the coffee table. I used the handrail as a crutch to help get up the stairs.”
In this case, the handrail was used literally and figuratively as a crutch, and neither are negative.
The only time an actual crutch is a negative is when it is being used but is no longer necessary. But even then, if someone decided to continue to use a crutch past when it is needed, how much harm is there?
Oh, I figured out a second time it’s a negative. When it’s a prop used by a con artist to gain sympathy or fake a miracle.
Let’s Consider the Expression as a Whole
I usually hear it used in a holier-than-thou, self-righteous way. I suppose in this context, the crutch refers (falsely) to something that helps people limp along brokenly rather than forcing them to heal and walk upright:
- Illegal substances are a crutch for an unhappy, unfulfilled life.
- Swinging is a crutch for people who are in a sexually unsatisfying relationship.
- Alcohol is used as a crutch by people who aren’t comfortable swinging.
To be clear, in that last example, I don’t mean people who get fall-over, incoherent drunk every time they want to swing. That could be a sign of a bigger problem. At the very least, there are a plethora of issues of consent at that level of intoxication.
But given how many swingers I’ve heard describe themselves as shy or having social anxiety, it’s not surprising that alcohol (or some other intoxicant) is needed as a social lubricant before connections can even be made. Consuming an intoxicant is not necessarily about chemically creating a comfort with swinging but rather about trying to get over our own self-doubt and fear of rejection to even meet new people in the first place.
Besides, the very act of “getting drinks” is a normal ritual in our society. It’s a crutch in that it gives a reason to sit in a neutral location and provides something to do with our hands during the conversation.
There’s a reason “you want to get coffee sometime?” is a way to ask someone on a date and “you want to meet on the corner of 4th and Lexington and just chat for 20 minutes to see if we have anything in common?” is weird.
When People Don’t Conform to an Expected Norm, They Need a Metaphorical Crutch
There are any number of metaphorical crutches that can be used to help people move more easily through situations that are difficult, if not impossible, for them to do so without some extraneous support.
Erin and I both use alcohol as a crutch to help us socialize. She needs it more so than I do because socializing causes more anxiety for her.
Other people might prefer cannabis or MDMA as their crutch to overcome their social anxiety.
For some, the crutch is only helping overcome a mild problem—like a sprained ankle that you can walk on but it’s not comfortable to put full weight on. I don’t need alcohol to be chatty. I don’t embarrass easily even when sober (much to Erin’s chagrin). Embarrassing myself isn’t really my worry anyway (also much to Erin’s chagrin). For me, alcohol is more of a cane. I might lean on it a little, but I don’t need it to walk.
For others, their crutch is helping with a more severe and permanent problem. Take Erin and public speaking. She can’t use alcohol as a crutch in this situation. She’d pass out drunk before alcohol calmed her enough to get up on a stage in front of people. Instead, a low dose of MDMA is the brace that has gotten her through tough speeches she could not have managed otherwise.
Respect the Crutch
Crutches, both literal and metaphorical, are useful tools. Implying that crutches are bad, abnormal, or in some other way impair people is ableist language. The expression about using one should not have a negative context.
When the behavior described is actually negative, call it something else entirely. That person who gets drunk and belligerent every time you hang out at a bar together, they aren’t using alcohol as a crutch to help them socialize. They are using social outings as an excuse to get drunk and be an ass. That’s different.
People shouldn’t be judged for needing a crutch to overcome personal difficulties to successfully move through and thrive in situations in which others can stand on their own “two feet.”
Sometimes, some people will be able to get over their need for a crutch. When we make it to a lifestyle event, maybe that immersive experience will help me deal with my introducing-myself-to-people issue.
Some crutches are for life. Erin will never be comfortable making speeches in front of crowds without some kind of aid.
Not everyone has the same gifts and abilities. Some were born with the traits and talents our society expects as a given, as a norm. But not everyone was so lucky. We should normalize people safely and mindfully using whatever support they need to participate in life.