Shane and I often talk about how we feel almost guilty for not sharing our drug experiences with more of the people we care about. Our explorations have been profound and even life-altering. We know that a lot of our friends and even family would truly enjoy and benefit from some of the substances that we have tried.
But societal norms and expectations run deep, and it’s hard to know when or if to challenge people’s preconceived notions. Things that we have been told our whole lives and accepted as truth have turned out to be either outright wrong or much more complex than “Just say no to drugs.”
MDMA in particular is what I have the most guilt around not sharing. It has been such an amazing experience for us. It brought our relationship (which was already really good) to new heights. Every time I see someone struggling or a relationship that seems strained, I think about how a night of rolling on molly could really help those people. In a perfect world, these subjects would be acceptable to talk about. People would be getting more accurate first-hand information with which to make their own decisions.
Taking the Lead to Normalize Taboos
I was recently reminded of an experience that illustrates what an impact normalization can have. Back in our college days, Shane and I were hanging out with a group of friends who all happened to be girls. Somehow the subject of vibrators came up, and there was a lot of awkward giggling. It was one of those situations where it seems like everyone is waiting for someone to take the lead.
Are we going to make fun of it?
Are we going to act like it’s a ridiculous thing to have or want?
Is someone going to admit to having one?
To Shane’s surprise, I did just that: I flat-out said, “I have one. It’s great!” I think you could have heard a pin drop in that room for a minute. And then there was a flurry of interesting conversation and questions. And before I knew it, I was taking some of my girlfriends vibrator shopping.
I hadn’t realized until that moment how much power there can be in being the one to tell people that it’s okay to want things or be curious about things that might seem taboo.
Why Me?
A little bit about me for context: I am pretty even-tempered and quiet. Most people see me as…sensible is the word that comes to mind. Most of our friends would be shocked to hear that I had tried anything stronger than pot; those we have “outed” ourselves to certainly have been.
Shane’s personality is more boisterous and care-free, so people are not surprised to find out that he has been experimenting. We have both noticed a trend of our friends basically saying, “If Erin is okay with it, then it must be okay to try.” Realizing that I can have that sort of influence over people’s decisions is a little unnerving, but I am also confident that I wouldn’t lead people down the wrong path. We all know that saying about what comes with great power….
Being an Influencer
I feel a responsibility to normalize taboos around drugs (and sex). To open up about the things that people have a hard time talking about or admitting to.
Now of course the vibrator thing seems incredibly tame, but at the time it had a pretty big impact. So I wonder, how much of this influence should I use with people when it comes to trying drugs? I would never want to pressure anyone, but I am now in a position to debunk those misconceptions that we were taught as kids. Most of our friends have accepted that what we were told about marijuana was exaggerated to say the least, so why not start that conversation about other types of drugs?
We’re using this blog to reach out to people, to share our experiences and spread positivity for demonized substances. As we get better at sharing our perspective, maybe we’ll be able to open up more to our friends and loved ones, but for now we will remain anonymous.