Any fan of the We Gotta Thing podcast has heard Mr. and Mrs. Jones refer to the dumb card game. It intrigued Erin and I when we heard it mentioned. They refer to it so dismissively and yet sing its praise at the same time. We’ve never heard them use the proper name, so we had to Google it, but Google it we did, and that’s how we found The Game of Lifestyle.
Erin ordered it so that we’d have it at the ready when we hosted another couple at our home. It was the first time any of us had played. And I say “it,” but in actuality, there are multiple versions of the game. Erin ordered both the Ice Breaker deck and Hot ‘n Heavy deck.
How did they each stack up? Were they worth the purchase and the time investment to play? Is Mr. Jones right in dubbing it the dumb card game? Let’s find out!
Ice Breaker Card Game
The basic rules of the Ice Breaker deck are flip a card, read the question(s), and then everyone just answers (though you are allowed to not answer; the rules are clear it is voluntary). As Erin noted, the questions are tame enough and so unassuming that we could play this game with vanillas if it didn’t have lifestyle in the title. (“Why do you have a game about being in the lifestyle?” is not a question we feel like answering to most of our vanilla friends. Yet.)
The questions ranged from super tame (“Have you had sex in a hot tub or pool?”) to a bit more interesting (“Do you enjoy dirty talk and, if so, how dirty?”) Rare would be the question I didn’t already know Erin’s answer (though, “What could someone say to get you turned on?” did provide good intel…), but finding out these details about someone you haven’t yet had sex with could be useful.
The questions themselves weren’t necessarily deep conversation starters, but given the spirit of the game—a desire to get to know each other better—we answered more than the question asked.
Overall, we all liked the Ice Breaker deck, but we were quick to abandon it for the Hot ‘n Heavy deck to move our night toward more active entertainment.
Hot ‘n Heavy Card Game
The deck has three different subsections: one flame (the tamest of actions), two flames (a bit spicier), and three flames (the spiciest). Skipping the action is also allowed in this deck. I don’t think most players would force things if the rule to skip wasn’t there, but I like that they made the consideration. There is an expansion deck which offers even hotter scenarios, but we don’t have that one. Yet.
Obey the Instructions
When we first set up the deck, our shuffler didn’t heed the directions, which call for keeping the different heat levels separate (i.e., you should only draw from the one-flame cards until they are gone) to slowly escalate the game.
We recommend following this instruction. When the first few actions flip from one flame to three flames and then back to one flame, it was quite noticeable and a bit jarring. We didn’t care too much, but I can see where this could cause issues for couples who are on a first date. If one person keeps having three-flame activities and someone else keeps getting one flamers…. Yeah, jealousy inbound.
We quickly fixed this error and proceeded through the flames in ascending order. We did skip some one-flame and two-flame activities just to keep the game moving.
Arrange Yourself Appropriately
In order to keep the game randomized, the active player often has to spin a bottle to select with whom he or she is acting. No problem, we had spare bottles aplenty. The issue was that were were sitting on the floor on a mattress, and that often left three people in a row (at 11, 12, and 1 o’clock respectively), which makes for a lot of bad spins that pointed to no one.
Either sit in a circle (as you should for spin the bottle) or get a die, assign people a number, and roll.
Mind the Flames
Those two considerations accounted for, the game is fun. There wasn’t anything super raunchy or kinky, which is good. One-flame cards mostly involved kissing or groping, usually underneath clothes but above underwear. Two-flame cards start removing clothing and getting things a little more feisty. A lot of the actions are similar to one-flame actions, but done on multiple players at the same time. Three-flame cards get you into oral sex and titty fucking.
We didn’t continue to draw cards for very long once we got into the three-flame cards. Instead, we went a little more freestyle.
Was It Worth It?
Yes.
The Game of Lifestyle card game is great for kicking off a fun night with another couple or a small group. If everyone is just getting acquainted, the Icebreaker set gets the conversation going. The Hot ‘n Heavy set will slowly ease everyone into the fun and help the transition from flirty talk to sexy action.
However, the game isn’t particularly imaginative. Mr. Jones is correct when he calls it the dumb card game. The Ice Breaker deck isn’t likely to launch a deep conversation. The Hot ‘n Heavy deck isn’t going to start crazy sexcapades. But the simplicity gets the job done. It’s fun, silly, and easy—and easily abandoned when no longer needed. If it were too interesting or competitive, some people might focus on finishing the game rather than realizing you really win when you don’t need to play it anymore.
Will We Get the Expansion?
Probably, but I doubt it is necessary. If the three-flame actions haven’t gotten everyone in the mood, then I’m not sure more actions will.
On the other hand, I can see how they would be fun to use with playmates with whom we already have experience. Maybe the expansion holds the really creative options that will fire up the kinky party.